epiicer:

If you say “old sport” three times in front of your mirror Gatsby will appear and awkwardly hit on your wife

(via therealmccoy)

amaninyc:

said I, with glittering starlit eyes

(Source: distress, via storminateacupx)

coatandscarf:

ambiguousfangirl:

Conan makes Benedict’s deleted shower scene better by tweaking the music.

Conan, I love you. SO MUCH. 

This is the most angry shower I’ve ever seen in my life.

You can’t even see his eyes through his eyebrows!

(via dudeufugly)

  • boy:  Girl, I can't believe how wet you are already, like, damn.
  • girl:  That's actually just vaginal discharge and my body is cleansing itself from bacteria and dead cells to prevent infection and to maintain optimal reproductive health. I'm not even all that turned on right now and I would prefer to go get burritos if you're down.

wordscanbesexy:

mediaite:

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer Asks Atheist Tornado Survivor If She ‘Thanked The Lord’

You’ve got to thank physical laws…

(via aimeetron)

bexinterrobang:

letgo-ofcontrol:

shutthefrontdoorxp:

try—something—new:

a-study-in-butts:

owlcitymordred:

stagdoeandfawn:

catully:

brigwife:

latitudeoctopus:

brigwife:

wait you mean you don’t use the word ‘fortnight’ in america???

Wait what? Then what do they use?

they don’t have a word

what do you mean they don’t have a word what kind of uncivilised people are they??

the f**k is a fortnight

It’s a word for ‘two weeks’

it’s a night where the british build forts and wage war against eachother

what the hell do they say then?!?!

sorry, had to look it up ‘cause I didn’t knew the word ._.

i

what?

you have a complete absence of the word? that is so bizarre.

What the hell is going on in other countries where you need to use the word fortnight?

I’ve been alive almost 22 years and I’ve never needed to use that word in my life.

mycroft-holmes-approves:

sodamnrelatable:

Diet ideas: Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.

image

image

(via dejasvous)

NEVER.

I WANTED A GAY ROMP THROUGH SPACE AND ALL I GOT WAS DISAPPOINTMENT

I really wish a better version of Star Trek Into Darkness was coming out this weekend.

  • Boyfriend:  So today at work a coworker told me that if Hitler and Lieutenant Worf kissed, their moustaches wouldn't touch.
  • Me + Boyfriend:  *scrolling through my dashboard and see the Game of Butts gif set
  • Me:  You looked at a guy butt.
  • Me:  That means you're gay
  • Boyfriend:  *bursts into tears*

scienceing:

An exotic creature from an alien world.

(Source: someofuslaughsomeofuscry, via shuraiya)

john-watson-is-sherlocked:

grapefruitshampoo:

nerdographer:

Maybe Moriarty was trying to write ‘I <3 U’ on the apple but he messed up and was too embarrassed to ask for another one

so he killed sherlock instead

i swear to god

(Source: lissaraptor, via sam-ship)

kiwibutt: I’m scared of this kiwibutt: I’m scared of this

kiwibutt:

I’m scared of this

(via psychokandi)

coyotestar:

might do more after my hand stops hurting 6_9

(via psychokandi)